Our journey to parenthood and beyond

Happy Halloween

2009-10-31T11:14:00.000-07:00

Catching up - again

2009-10-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my "Mamas" birthday- she would have been 82 this year.

We still miss you every day!

Here is what I have been doing this past month or so-

I enjoy playing with my pots and pans and blocks-

I began crawling .... everywhere!

I have discovered that I now have teeth-

I started daycare (here is my first morning)

I would like to give a shout out to my Ernie doll!

I can now operate the remote to change channels and turn on the TV.

I am now walking with the assistance of a walker my Grandmarti gave me for Christmas- and starting trying it alone too.

But most of all- Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

My FIRST Birthday!

2009-08-03T12:11:00.001-07:00

My first birthday was a weekend BLAST!

My Grammy came from San Antonio on Friday night!

Cousin Tiffany, Little Maddox and Cousin Melany was also there

on Saturday when we had my party.

They gave me this wonderful card that sang happy birthday to me along with some fun toys

Dad and Daddy gave me alot of things but my favorite was this piano/xylophone!

Tosca gave me an Ernie doll - he knows I love to watch Sesame Street!

After we opened presents I showed Maddox how I like to climb the stairs.

Then everyone sang to me ......

Here is the ACTUAL VIDEO of everyone singing to me -

you can hear everyone if you turn it up LOUD :)

Daddy made a Strawberry cake and Strawberry icing -
because I like pink and LOVE strawberrys.
The Elmo was a PLUS- and daddy made all the decorations with Starburst Fruit chews!

I loved the cake- and all the attention!

Sunday the 2nd was my actual birthday and Grammy, Dad and Daddy and I went to lunch- THEN we went to the mall and rode my first Merry Go Round.

Catching up for June

2009-07-11T11:33:00.000-07:00

Daddy started a new job in June (more about that later)

and things have been a little crazy... so here is our "catch-up" page.

At the end of our family visit in May (see 2 posts ago if you are lost)

we took some final pictures. Here is Daddy and I on our front steps.

Above is Grandmarti and I playing in the Sun.

After everyone left I noticed that Cousin Nola left her birthday cake here. Since she barely ate any, I thought I would "practice" for my upcoming FIRST birthday!

I wore a flower in my hair so I could be like her with her bows.

I had SO much fun ... and the cake was still good.

My new favorite pastime is swimming in my little pool on the patio.

I LOVE the water!

.... and I dont mind getting wet all over!

Here I am in my "daisy duke" outfit that Grammy bought me.

I still love to play in the sandbox.

We went to a pool party for my friend Janssens second birthday.

We did not get to take many pictures, but here I am eating her cake.

I enjoyed the fruit better .... I am not much for cakes now but I do like playing with them.

I got to wear my new swimsuit and I also wore a sun hat my Grandmarti sent.

Here Dad is teaching me to swim ..... and I loved it.

Learning to crawl is going well .... its really not that hard now that I got going.

Now I am working on standing up ... and that is going well too!

Happy 4th of July!

2009-07-04T17:16:00.001-07:00

We have been SO busy lately.

Daddy got a job the first of June and it has been go go go ever since.

We are just now getting our new routine down

and have alot of pics from the last few weeks to post over the next few days .....

but for now - Happy 4th

Nolas First Birthday

2009-05-21T13:40:00.000-07:00

We celebrated cousin Nolas first birthday this past weekend.

Here are some of the best pictures-

Some people think we look alike ....

but Nola ALWAYS wears a bow and I dont :)

My Grandmarti and Chase flew in from Atlanta

and Nola and her parents (Brad and Jacquita) drove down from Oklahoma.

Daddy made us matching princess skirts and we had cake!

Star Trek

2009-05-13T06:48:00.000-07:00

While I did not get to go on opening night

(Daddy went with Don and Dad and I stayed home)

I still got to wear my Star Trek T-shirt

and play with the Spock doll ....... for a bit.

I still love feathers

2009-04-29T10:38:00.001-07:00

I still love to play with the feathers

when we go to JoAnns.

Here are a couple of pics from this weeks trip.

Baby Yoga

2009-04-28T07:16:00.000-07:00

I thought you would like to see my Baby Yoga outfit.

Daddy and I have started this and will be going every week I hope!

I have already recieved many compliments on it

from the Mommys in the class!

I cant crawl BUT....

2009-04-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

I cant crawl, but I can stand as long

as I can get someone to help me out here and there.

The new patio ... and my new teeth

2009-04-21T08:59:00.000-07:00

Dad and Daddy and finally finishing the patio

and since it is so nice outside I get to join in!

The first thing we added was my new swing to the Magnolia tree.

It is on loan from John and Miss Heather.

John just turned 4 last week.... Happy birthday!

Now that I have SO many teeth

(I sprouted my first 2 finally last week),

I am learning to brush!

This was our first go at it ... it went pretty well!

Easter photoshoot- behind the scenes

2009-04-13T14:45:00.000-07:00

OK ... Here are the "behind the scenes" pictures

from my Easter photoshoot

at Nieman Marcus with the bunnies.
Enjoy!

I HAD to show off my gold bracelet from my Aunt Monie-

I was happy that Dad got to come too!

Since the was an extra special occasion

- Daddy, Dad and I had lunch afterward in the Zodiac room of Nieman Marcus

..... my first fancy restaurant!

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T07:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter!

Addison at the Park in Spring

2009-04-10T13:19:00.000-07:00

We had our Easter pictures made today (you will see them later) and then afterwards we had lunch with Dad and then Daddy and I went to the park.

Here are those pictures as a preview for my "official" Easter pics!

I am not sure about my "Scarlett O'Hara pose"

Now this is more my style!

Bunny ears are courtesy of an "Easter basket" from Onva and GrandMarti!

Shoes courtesy of my Grammy.

Dress was purchased by my Dad for my Easter dress - WAY before I was born.

Stay tuned- my official pictures with the Easter Bunny coming soon!

Cousin Maddox's Bday party

2009-03-30T15:34:00.001-07:00

This weekend was my cousin Maddox's 1st Birthday party

- it was lots of fun.
Here are some of the better pictures from the weekend!

First, my Grammy came up from San Antonio to stay with me

- she likes to play pattycake.

Then on Saturday I put on my beret and we went to a family BBQ.

Then on Sunday we went to Maddox's B'day party at the ballpark.

Here he is with our Grammy-

he is my friend and we like to visit each other

since they live here in Dallas!

Here is my new dress that I wore to the party.

Below is the back with a cute bow.

Here is my beautiful cousin Aliyah from Austin

- she and her sister Grace came up along with the rest of the family!

I enjoyed the chairs in the shade.

.... but once the sun came over I had to break out the sunglasses!
Finally, here I am with my party hat.
We had LOADS of fun .
... and Maddox had a great Birthday thanks to his wonderful mother, Cousin Tiffany.

My trip to the mall

2009-03-27T07:34:00.000-07:00

Daddy and I spent the morning at the mall

Our air condition was being worked on so we had some time to waste.

First we decided to have a biscuit at Chick-fil-A.

I have never had anything other than baby food so this is a good time to start.

My first taste of biscuit did not go so well ......

.... but then I kind of liked it .... but I still prefer my own food!

Then... to take up so more time, we decided to go into the "teen store"

and try on the latest in fashion.

The ladies there really got into it.

I first tried a scarf- fun, but not too pratical.

This was my favorite- as you can see!

The pink matches my outfit ... but it may be a bit much.

This one I kind of felt a little silly in .....

And we all know that I have never put up with a bow on my head for too long ....

Once we went to Nieman Marcus ... then I found more I liked.

This one I felt really worked ... if they had only had it in my size!

After the stores we needed a little diaper change.

I love the mirrors in the family bathrooom at the mall!

And finally ... it was time to come home for a nap!

A few things from my day

2009-03-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

I LOVE my bathtime!

Our kitchen sink is extra deep and the perfect size for me! I like my rubber ducks

- but most of all I like to splash and wet Daddy

(and the walls, and coutertops, and floor .....)
Onva sent me a "Wolf in sheeps clothing" for Valentines (that sings "Hungry Like the Wolf") and he is the perfect size to wear my old shoes and hats- I Love playtime!

Here is another GLAMOR shot :)

Finally- this is what I look like at the end of the day when I get sleepy and cuddly.

Learning New Things

2009-03-16T14:20:00.000-07:00

Here I am with Dad ..... practicing my standing up!

Yes ... that is the famous "If Nancy had an Afro" painting on the wall :)

I cant crawl yet, and have just started to rollover ... I would rather stand up when I can!

Here I am on the third time I rolled over (the first two we did not have a camera ready). I just started this regularly this weekend and am finally getting used to my stomach.

And finally... my cheeks get so much attention I though it a good idea to post a good shot of them for everyone!

You can see my new "Rihanna do"... Daddy gave me a little trim and now it is long on top while still short on sides and back ... very hip! Everyone tells me that they love my crazy hair!

2009-03-10T13:08:00.000-07:00

I got a new ball to play with the other day

... I cant roll it yet but I can beat on it and still have fun!

Here I am with Daddy taking a nap with my best friend Tosca!

And here is my beautiful cousin Nola.

She lives in Oklahoma and we are hoping to see her again soon!

She is about 3 months older than I am.

7 Months last week

2009-03-09T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am growing up way too fast now....

Here is my "high fashion" shot :)

I like my toes now ....

and you can see one of my birthmarks in this picture.

My Grandmarti gave me this cute "cherry themed" outfit.

And I really like to stick out my tongue at people now too....

my Grandmarti bought this shirt for me too.

This was taken by our good friend Don ...

it was really just a snapshot but it turned out so good of Daddy and me!

This outfit is courtesy of my friend Karen- Foon Moons Mom.

A few random new pics

2009-02-24T09:10:00.001-08:00

I got a fun gift recently... it is a purse that sings and has play money and a mirror and keys and play lipstick ... and I love it!

This is a little one piece sleepy outfit that my friend sent me from London ..... it is quite the stylish outfit. I have had it waiting since before I was born ... and I can now just begin to wear it!

...... and I love carrots :)

Playing dress up

2009-02-18T07:05:00.000-08:00

Time to play dress up!

Daddy decided we could get out (on special occasions) some of my Grandmothers ("Mama's) jewelry and scarves and play dress up.

The shoes were a gift from a friend

and once belonged to Ann Sothern, the famous movie actress.

While these things are not for every day play,

... it was just my 6 month birthday a few days back so we decided to have some fun!

In honor of Valentines we decided to go "red".

Things I like to do

2009-01-28T12:06:00.000-08:00

Here are some things I like to do these days

I like to dress up and go to the mall to walk, but I have to wear sunglasses to escape the paparazzi.

I like to play by the window and watch the birds.

Here I am in my Exer-saucer we bought with a Babies-R-Us gift certificate from our friend Dwain and his son Ben in California- and I had enough left over to by a pair of pink Converse hightops and some other fun things I needed!

And I am enjoying my cereal these days on my silver Tiffany spoon from my friend Vance. Oatmeal is my meal of choice right now.

Of course I have to hold my own spoon too.

Playing and sleeping

2009-01-26T12:32:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I like to play in my chair, but I have to share it with my BFF Tosca

Sometimes I play so much that I just cant hold my head up and need to take a little impromptu nap.

The last 2 weeks

2009-01-20T13:08:00.001-08:00

So now I am cathing up ... here are my newest 2009 pics

Last week I wanted to try my new rocker. All went well for a few days until Daddy wanted to take my picture ..... then just as he snapped I took a spill ..... but I am up for trying it again .... soon! Its a funny picture now .... it wasn't so funny then :(

Here I am having a bottle break! I am learning to hold it myself these days-

Grammy just came for a long weekend visit- we had loads of fun!

Here I am in a new outfit. I have had it for a while but this is the first time it really fits... I guess I am growing up quickly!

A few more holiday pics

2009-01-19T14:40:00.000-08:00

Well Daddy and I caught colds as soon as we got back from Atlanta

and now we are well into January-

so I will just post a few more holiday pics and move on from there.

Here I am with Onva

And here is me having a snack with Grandmarti while Daddy holds Cousin Nola

Here is cousin Nola with Cousin Parker.
Here I am with my Auntie-

Here I am in my Daddys rocking chair from when he was my age-

we are having this shipped back for my room!

Here Dad and I play a little bit

Here I am with our Auntrene!
Here I am with our very close friend (and family) Dwayne.

And here I am playing with my new toys in the Admirals club waiting for our flight home- it has been a long day but I am still happy!

Christmas in Atlanta

2008-12-30T13:02:00.000-08:00

DAY ONE

Dad, Daddy and I flew to Atlanta for Christmas ... here are the first pictures from the trip!

Here I am waiting for our flight very early on the 25th in the Admirals Club in Dallas - ready to go!

Here I am once we arrived at Grandmartis .... with Cousin Jacquita. I will have to get more pictures from that day later-

Then I had to take a nap with my new Cabbage Patch doll!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-24T06:31:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

- from our family to yours!

SANTA!!!!!

2008-12-23T07:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I got to visit Santa-

I got to wear "Mama's" little flower pin (really my Grandmothers, but I would have proabably called her Mama like everyone did) - she would have loved to see me wear it.

Daddy "did his thing" and the 2 hour wait was only 15 minutes

...and I loved all the attention!

Christmas approaches

2008-12-22T14:13:00.000-08:00

First- in November we had our friend Karls 50th bday party to go to.

Here are some pictures from that night

that the photographer took of us!

It was outside and cold, but we knew

alot of the people and had loads of fun.

Then we had a Christmas party on December 13th that I wore my new Santa Dress for.
Cousin Taylor and I were the only little girls there ... and were the hit of the party!
Here are some pictures taken before we left to go.

Then, on December 14th 2008 I lost my dear Poppy.

His services were on December 17th in San Antonio
and so we went and spent the week with my Grammy.

I am very happy I got to visit with him one more time on November 22nd .... and we will all miss him and his wonderful stories and kindness.

New routines

2008-12-12T06:34:00.000-08:00

I have begun to prefer sitting up more and playing.

Normally I like to sit in "my chair"

(which I have to share with Tosca at times)

a couple of times a day and play by myself.

Here I am at my "after dinner but before bed" playtime.

I am growing up way too fast!

Thanksgiving pics

2008-12-11T12:15:00.000-08:00

For Thanksgiving - first we

went to Grammys for dinner the Saturday before- here is a pic of me and Dad.

Then on Thanksgiving day we had lunch outside at Momo's Italian Restaurant with my cousin Taylor and her 2 Dads.

Here is me and Daddy with Taylor

Then we came home and slept a bit - with Tosca

My 3 month pictures from Nov

2008-12-10T12:12:00.000-08:00

New Exercise Bouncer

2008-11-18T07:38:00.000-08:00

I got a new bouncer that I love ... here are some pics!

Waking up happy

2008-11-17T12:40:00.000-08:00

My motto is to always wake up happy .... its a new day and a new week!

We are trying to give up the moses basket - the basket is in my crib but I still like to sleep in it ... all the way down at the end!

King Tut Exhibit

2008-11-11T07:49:00.000-08:00

Since we are members of the Dallas Museum of Art, Daddy reserved special tickets for the 3 of us was before I was born to see this special exhibit from Egypt. No cameras were allowed inside but I got my picture made when we came out so I could remember it!

We also went to my first birthday party (a friends 50th) this weekend. It was so much fun and the photographer loved me .... hopefully I can get some of those pictures and post them soon!

Happiness for a new dawn

2008-11-06T13:57:00.000-08:00

We have a renewed faith and courage for the future!

The sun is brighter , our mood is lifted and all is finally moving in the right direction.

Our prayers for our new President that he can truly bring about change!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T07:47:00.000-07:00

I am going to put my tiny little hex spell on you!

Here I am in my costume

that Daddy & Dad made for me

.... I am a candycorn in case you cant figure it out :)

My Grandmarti made my trick or treat bag!

Dont forget to vote!

2008-10-30T10:52:00.000-07:00

We did early voting yesterday

...... only a few days left!

October activities

2008-10-27T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well here we are in October and here is an update on what I have been up to!

Daddy decided it was time for Art
.... so he made me a smock and we did my "2 month" handprint.

Then my "Grandmarti" gave me a cute
Halloween themed outfit I could not wait to wear~

I have discovered how to pose now I think.

Then we went to San Antonio to visit my Grammy and Poppy.

Here Grammy and I pose in my outfit I wore to court for the final adoption hearing

.... and yes I took the beret off before we left home.

Then we went to the San Antonio courthouse and this nice man in a black dress talked to me and let us have our picture made with him. He said we would have all the papers and my final birth certificate in a few weeks!

2 month pics

2008-10-27T10:50:00.000-07:00

For those who have not received their pics, or did not get any... here are the 2 months pics.

We will need to do 3 month soon, so I figured I better get these posted :)

Speaks for itself

2008-10-13T10:49:00.000-07:00

Paul was shopping at JoAnn Fabrics

and Addison and I got bored

..... so we played and this was the result.

We miss you!

2008-10-03T17:16:00.000-07:00

Today is Mamas birthday-

she would have been 81 years old.

Everyday we miss you .

...... and we always will.

Month number 2

2008-09-22T14:48:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately, we have not had the time to update the blog as much as we would like... but good thing is that we ARE taking lots of pictures. Little Addie does not allow much time that is not focused on her ... and for now that time is spent getting all else in order!

You can see ... we are growing fast, fast, fast.... and (for the most part) a very good baby!

Here is another grouping of pics ... I tried to keep them in order!

I have finally gotten used to a pacifier .... but still only like if for a few minutes at a time.

People like baby feet pictures ... and mine ARE cute .... so here you go! They are not as long as my fingers (good thing) but they are a nice size.

Here is cousin Tiffany and cousin Maddox that came by to visit for a bit. Maddox is not much older than I am (only by a few months) so I am sure we will become great friends since they are so close by!

Tosca still has to have his "cuddle time" .... and he has to grab it when and where he can these days!

Marti came to visit for a few days .... boy was she a help. I still dont know what I should call her .... she is both an Aunt and Grandma so I will have to think that one through for a while.

I have begun enjoying my bath while Marti was here .... until you get to the point of washing my hair.

Here I am right after Marti left ..... not quite sure what to do but sit in a chair and think about how quiet it is

Grammy came also this month to visit and to celebrate both Dad and Daddys birthdays. Poppy could not make it this time but I cant wait to see him in October when we go to San Antonio for a few days.

My last bit of time with my Grammy ... kind of sad to see her go back home so soon but I will see her next month!

Fashion show from last week (2 weeks old)

2008-08-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

Napping -

I like to be swaddled but I MUST have at least one hand free~

Red seems to be one of my colors-

Daddy got this outfit in the Mountains of Tennessee before I was born and this blanket is the one "Grandma Marti" made for me!

This is one of the outfits "on loan" from cousin Nola ("born 2008").

One more week and I wont be ableto fit in it anymore I think so I am wearing it alot now!

My first bath was not as bad as I thought it would be ......

and I love my Elmo towel!

Tosca is my new best friend .....

and this is my little striped number I like to romp around in at times-

Finally - My "Viva Mexico" dress -

I wore this to lunch with Heather and her friend last week at Luna de Noche -

Home....finally

2008-08-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

Once we had our paperwork from the hospital complete we still needed the attorney paperwork signed and notarized to move forward in the courts as soon as possible. While this is currently still "in process" on this end we had the mothers blessing to leave the hospital and begin the legal proceedings. More on that soon-

So we went up to the nursery and with a little last minute instructions, changed her into her "traveling clothes", bundled her up in a blanket "Grandma Marti" made and off we went to load her in the car seat ... for the "long" five minute car ride home.

I think she actually enjoyed it!

Once home, the next task was to introduce her to Tosca. He had been warned (with all our false starts) that she was coming home..... and once his curiosity was satisfied he felt comfortable in napping with her very soon-

Waiting to Go home - 2 days

2008-08-05T14:29:00.000-07:00

While we were waiting the two required nights to go home we ate, slept ... and pooped.

Paul and I were given a room right next to the nursery on Saturday night so we could stay close... we kind of became the "pets" of the nurse staff I think.... but maybe they are that nice to all of their patients. They certainly were to us.

"Auntie Heather" came by and brought a plant and a paper from the Day little Addie was born. Other than that, it was just us running between the nursery and taking care to make sure "mom" was comfortable and had what she needed.

We got our paperwork for the hospital finalized with her mom and hospital legal staff on Monday morning in order for Paul and I to take her home.... but first we needed some papers done for our attny too... and that seemed like it would take a while!

Addison Isabel Rakestraw-Roeder

2008-08-05T14:07:00.000-07:00

August 2, 2008 @ 10:20am

6 lbs and 10 ounces - 18.5 inches long

After numerous false starts and late night "practice runs" to the hospital the day finally came this past Saturday.

While it is all a blur I can say it was only 1 push for her head and 1 push for her body and she was ready to go! From the "OK" to the clean up was about 20 minutes... and it was all over so fast we did not know what to do except cry a little with joy!

By a little after Noon she was ready for us to feed her and talk to her.... but she was most interested in sleeping.

We were fine with that.... our only thought was at last we were all together!

Recent developments - on our way?

2008-07-31T09:48:00.000-07:00

Alot has been happening in the past week that would indicate that we are moving toward an early due date.

To sum it up, we entered the hospital last Wednesday (23rd) at 7pm and due to some confusing "fluids", contractions, etc that resulted in a wrong diagnosis by our (now) "ex" doctor we did not come back out again until Fr (25th) at Noon. Despite a glowing sonogram (where we learned she has all her external and internal parts- and all look very healthy) and an "amnio" that showed fully developed lungs, and despite Charlette being on Pitocin to induce labor and having a epidural for almost the entire time.... we did not have the baby. We went from induction, to hold, to definite (no backing out induction) to discharge from the hospital. It was a tough roller coaster ride that resulted in lots of bad food and ending up calming down with Charlette and her cousin Jen by going to see Mama Mia ...... and you know how Paul loves a good musical :) You will see here a good picture of our friends Martin and Todd (who had to leave little Taylor at home), Jen (Charlettes cousin) and Paul ..... all taken while we were still new, fresh and glowing with the expected birth.

We were back again Sunday (27th) night from about 9 until midnight.

We had the appt with our new doctor (which we really like) on TU (29th) - for about 3 hours. You know how the first appointment always is-

We were back again last night (30th) in the ER/delivery from about 430pm until 6p or so ...... we are getting these false alarms down to a science! Even though she was having contractions 3 minutes apart for a stretch of 6 hours.... we were sent home and told to come back when they were "more intense". Across all of these visit we are always told how healthy the baby looks and all is very good!

Today is a followup sonogram.... and we are hoping for some indication of how much longer we have. Good thing is we have discovered the contractions will eventually stop when she lays down... and all of these "visits" have been good test runs that have resulted in Paul and I realizing we needed to get things ready and stop putting it off. After the hospital drama last weekend we went and bought all we needed and were fully ready by the next run .... and we think we have decided a name but are holding it (to make sure) until we must write it down .... to make the decision final.

The babies room- work in progress

2008-06-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

We are finally making headway in getting the babies room all together.

Our theme has developed into being "circus" themed. Wizard of Oz was a close second but we thought she may enjoy that a little later.... and lots of animal images may be more fun for a little baby.

Todd completed two new paintings for her walls to make sure they were bright and cheery and the "monkey lamp" and small vintage ceramic cat are adding to the fun. We also repainted a wonderful vintage light fixture we had in storage that adds to the circus feel. From this the plan is to fill in where needed.

We bought the baby bed linens last weekend and the actual bed will come soon .... so all is lining up fast!

Her stroller is ready to go and Tosca is also spending alot of time in there (both in the room and in the stroller actually)- we think he is really ready for her to come home and knows what "fun" he has in store.

He is looking forward to his new little sister!

Month of May - Happiness, Tragedy and Miracles

2008-06-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

On May 3rd I flew to Atlanta for a long weekend. "Mama", Auntrene and I drove to the Mountains for a long weekend (Paul had just started a new job at Kimberly Clark and could not go). We had a wonderful time and had fun shopping, eating lots and just acting silly all around. I flew back on Wednesday - Mama and Marti dropped me off at the airport.

On Friday we got a call and felt we needed to fly to San Antonio on Saturday to check on Pauls family. After helping out a bit there we flew back home on Monday.

Midday on Wednesday the 14th my mother was in a tragic car accident- hit by a driver that had warrants and no insurance. I had awoke at around 3am that Wednesday morning and could not go back to sleep- I was very upset, nervous and as the day progressed felt near a panic attack but for no reason that I could tell. It had gotten so bad, later that morning I called Paul and planned to take something to sleep through the afternoon and to calm down ... and I already had the medicine out when Marti called. Everyone knows how close Mama and I were and it does not suprise me that somehow, inside already knew what was in motion.

While we did not know the full extent of her injuries at that point when Marti called, we thought that all would be fine in the end. I flew out on Thursday morning and went straight to the hospital ready for a long stay of recovery. I slept at the hospital that night and all was going well enough on Friday for Marti and I to go home and not stay overnight at the hospital. On Saturday a turn for the worse - and with about a 15 minute warning she was gone. Paul was already on his way to the airport in Dallas, but we were lucky enough to have all our aunts and uncles and a couple of very dear friends with Marti, Onva and I.

There is not a day or hour that goes by that I dont miss her, and from the calls and cards I have received I am not alone .....

And in the end a miracle of happiness - born the next morning after the funeral, Brad and Jacquita had a beautiful adopted daughter delivered to them .... and her name is Nola.

Mama was so proud that little Nola was going to be named after her and even though they never had a chance to meet, I am sure she is already watching over her, and us all, from above.

"Our" pregnancy - phase 2

2008-06-13T11:14:00.001-07:00

On March 21st we learned that our little baby is a girl... it was quite overwhelming.

We had heard the heartbeat and talked for months about possibilities, but being able to picture our families future now a little clearer, and having a girl like we really dreamed of, left us both a bit speechless. A little girls red sweater (to match her already purchased red Bugaboo stroller) from "Janie and Jack" was the first clothing purchased for her now quickly growing (now mostly in Pink and White) wardrobe.

Also, Tosca has become quite excited about the prospect of a new baby sister and has decided it his role to break in her new stroller by taking an occasional nap inside. Possible pictures coming soon, but until then here is a little Tosca for you to enjoy.

"Our" pregnancy - phase 1

2008-06-12T15:22:00.001-07:00

So we began, with Charlette, to go to Drs appts and soon we had our first sonogram in Feb.

We found out as much as we could, asked questions and began to read even more than before trying to prepare for the excitement coming our way.

We had originally had prepared more for a toddler (1-1.5 years) and now we had to not only think of newborn needs but also pregnancy issues and all of the things that come along with it. We were both, at this point, still a little disconnected from it all.... we think that it is from all the stops and starts that have come along our path so far.... but that would soon change.

The backup plan - and destiny

2008-06-12T15:13:00.000-07:00

OK... so now we are getting to the fun part.

We decided to retreat to our Villa above Malibu and think about it as you can see ..... oops, ahead of myself.

Paul decided that we needed a plan B and after a little coaxing with me (I still had hope for the Vietnamese at this point) we booked flights to LA on January 3rd to meet with our prospective new (and high priced) Beverly Hills "Adoption attorney to the stars"!

I had taken a new job back in October and along with him pretty much guaranteeing us a baby - it all sounded like the world was aligned for us at this point.

After an intense "introduction and how to" meeting with him (of which we had to pay for of course) we left with a stack of forms to review, stars in our eyes and a potential hit to our bank balance that our check books had never seen (and hopefuly never will).

After going to the Getty Villa, lunch at the Ivy (where Sarah Michelle Geller had to wait on our table) and dinner at Mr Chows (where we sat next to Donna Karan and across from Ivanka Trump... no lie) we landed the next morning at Mels on Sunset to make our decision .... and called Mr power attorney and agreed to his terms, his fees and his 1.5 year wait. Thankfully we were going to wait until we got home to sign the forms and send the check.

That night, while getting dressed for dinner (in our beautiful room at the Ritz Carlton in Pasadena by the way) we got a call from our friends Todd and Martin who adopted little Taylor earlier in the year. There was to be an (unexpected) biological cousin to little Taylor and her mother was looking for a family to adopt on her own - and she lived 15 minutes away from us and was willing to meet us the next night when we flew home. Turns out, at only a few weeks pregnant she wanted someone who would commit early, be a part of the pregnancy and the birth. After only 2 meetings, all three of us knew it was meant to be and suddenly without forms, governement agencies or lawyers we were pregnant.

Our Vietnam Chapter

2008-06-12T14:43:00.000-07:00

On June 8th of 2007 we boarded a plane bound for Ho Chi Minh city Vietnam. After the LONG 12 hour flight we were tired but ready to go.

After a day of sightseeing we called the Orphanage on our own and, with the help of our wonderful Renaissance hotel staff calling and making arrangements, hopped in a cab with written Vietnamese directions and a driver that spoke no English. After having tea at a house we thought was the orphanage, our contact then took us on to the Catholic orphange... asking all the way about our little threesome and how many kids we wanted to take home. He was a little disappointed that we were just looking and that we wanted a baby (under 1)

There were no children under 5 or so, but we were impressed with the grounds and the children. All seemed to be well tended to and better than we thought - but we had to keep in mind that it was a very controled visit also.

After all the flights, strange foods to try, harrowing taxi rides (be sure to click on the video above) and even a motorbike ride around town after dark for Karen and I.... we still knew no more than the day we started.

We flew on to Cambodia the next day. Elephant rides, heat, amazing art, humidity, ruins in the jungle, beaming sun... and a massage that is best described as (thankfully) G rated but still very odd..... we decided that there was no need to go back to Vietnam for another day, so we stayed just one more day in Cambodia soaking up all we could, and shopping!

On our way back we stopped in Tokyo.... all smiles, much cooler and much more expensive but surprisingly we are looking forward to going back someday. We loved Japan for the day we were there.

All in all, a wonderful trip of dreams (ask us, we love to talk about it) but no baby and still no clue. Little "Ling Ling" (as she was affectionately called by most everyone who felt they already knew her) was no where to be found in Asia.

Upon getting home, hearing from others "in process of pickup" and various blogs and US adoption posts we decided to come up with a plan B. Our agency still maintains that the system is not shutting down in Vietnam, but little did we know then that in April of 2008 it would be announced that all adoptions would stop in September.

Thank goodness for our plan B ..... and what it would (in a round about way) bring.

The beginning

2008-06-12T12:41:00.000-07:00

Somewhere between the ongoing renovation of our Townhome, the "Miss Fayes unit #3" that we purchased and renovated (and finally sold) and the "Todds 40th birthday Peru pilgrimage" we decided that we had just too much love to share for just the two of us. It doesnt really matter who brought it up first or how it progressed.... just that the ball was rolling.

Upon a little investigation, calls to many that we knew and various web searches we decided that the time had come. We secured a home study person and an agency and we were moving forward. (If you need a good home study person we have one - if you need a good agency.... we dont have one)

We decided to take a trip to San Francisco to visit with our good friend Tom and also our good friends Dwain and Ben. Dwain had made this same decision years ago and found his wonderful son Ben... and we knew he would have great advice. Our close friend Heather and our niece Tiffany threw a superb shower here in Dallas and invited the world .... how could anything go wrong?

Fast forward through the months of Forms, interviews, fingerprints (and fingerprints again), visiting the beautiful and international intrigue of the "world of INS" and quite a few long conversations and many questions for our agency and why their rules kept changing (if you need a good agency, again we dont have one) we decided to go to Vietnam and check it out ourselves.

We really and truly thought that by the time we left, in June of 2007, we would have a referral and we may be able to at least see our new child (hopefully a girl). Our dear friend Karen went with us to give us another viewpoint (and to celebrate her.... other 39th bday) and off we went.

We had no idea what was in store at that point or how far we were from the finish.....